Spuds fight valiantly but drop twinbill to Bat's, Frogs

BALLARD (STN)—The Smiling Potatoes of Death capped their 2026 regular season with a doubleheader at Ballard Playfields last night, dropping both games by identical scores of 12-8. The Spuds finish the campaign with a record of one victory and eight losses, yet still have an opportunity to advance; the team will play first-place finisher Seattle Cattle next Wednesday in the Ballard Division playoffs.

The 1-8 season is a regression from last year's 2-7 mark, though that record does come with an asterisk. "We did have two wins last year," said co-captain Stacey Starr, "but one of them was by forfeit. Seattle Cattle didn't show up to play. So, really we matched what we did in ’25."

In yesterday's first game, the taters took on Bat's Amore in a rematch of the season's opening day game, which Bat's Amore won 21-10. "We improved on that one, anyway," said shortstop/pitcher Dan Stevens. "I think we might have won with a decent ump, though. That guy might've cost us a couple of runs."

Stevens was referring to the bearded umpire working Field 1, who has what might charitably be called a fungible strike zone. Said starting pitcher Tim Harrison, "I asked [the umpire] what his zone even was after the second inning. Maybe my tone wasn't too friendly, I don't really know, but basically I wanted to know where he was marking the top and bottom of the zone, because I threw three consecutive strike threes to a batter that were called balls 2, 3, and 4. He didn't like being asked. He just said 'a strike is a strike and a ball is a ball.' I didn't continue the argument, but he kept on, saying he would call things 'deep' if he wanted to. That was actually informative, or at least suggested he knew what I was talking about. I think it means he thought those three pitches were all high." Catcher Carly Eberts disagreed. "They were not high. One of them was down the fucking middle, you couldn't ask for a more textbook strike."

Though Bat's Amore didn't plate any runs as a consequence of that particular walk, the poor pitch calling continued throughout the game, prompting Stevens to assume anything not perfectly placed would be called a ball. "I know from batting, too," he said. "He called balls on a couple pitched to me that I thought I should've swung at." Outfielder/first baseman Brian Tschider concurred, admitting he benefited from bad calls. "Oh, I was struck out, no doubt about it. Called ball four. I'll take it, though." In the end, the umpiring likely didn't make much difference. "Really, as frustrating as it was as a pitcher, it was probably a wash," Harrison said. "And I just have to remember that it only helps the league that I ump for when these guys are so unbelievably bad."

The Spuds nevertheless took a promising 4-0 lead in the third inning. After emergency callup Ben Amster led off with a possibly suspect walk, outfielder Amna Mirza cracked the first of her three hits of the game. Dan Stevens followed with a base hit to score Amster, then after a groundout Chris Eaton blasted a deep fly into left-center field that was misplayed for a costly four-base error. "I need to have a word with the official scorer," Eaton said. "I mean, OK, the guy could have caught the ball, sure, he was right under it, but it's not like he kicked it away or something. I want those three RBIs, I don't want to see 'four-base error.'"

The lead would prove short-lived, as Bat's Amore came back with five in their half of the third, connecting for five hits and taking advantage of a pair of costly errors. The Spuds threatened again in the fourth, but Kim Stevens lined into a bad-luck double play to shift the momentum; Bat's Amore then tacked on three more in the home fourth. Down by four, the tubers again put runners on to start the fifth. Eberts led off with a walk—"legit, for a change," she said—then Amster and Mirza both singled and Dan Stevens reached on an error that scored Eberts. Outfielder Jess Palmer plated Amster with an RBI groundout, but the threat died when Eaton popped to short and Starr lined into another hard-luck double-play.

Bat's Amore would get one more in the home fifth to make it 9-6, then again the Spuds closed the gap. Harrison led off the sixth with his second hit of the day, then C/OF Rachel Fryan lined a single up the middle. First baseman Mack McCoy followed with a double to the left-center-field gap to plate both runners, making it a one-run game, but then 2B KM Crawford struck out and Tschider chopped a slow grounder to shortstop. Harrison, running for McCoy at second base, made a rookie baserunning mistake and took off for third on a ground ball hit to his right and was easily tagged out, which proved to be key as the next batter, Kim Stevens, lined a base hit to center that might have tied the game had Harrison stayed at second base. "It was just dumb,"  Harrison said. "I mean, that's baseball 101. I just wasn't thinking. We might have been better off if Bones had run for himself." The side was retired on the next play, a liner to short.

Perhaps dispirited by the unfortunate top of the frame, relief pitcher Dan Stevens gave up three more runs in the bottom half on a long home run with two aboard to put the game away. "I don't know," Stevens said, "counts don't mean that much at this level of ball, but when you get behind in the count even though you're throwing strikes it just seems like your going to eventually put one on a tee. That homer was on a pretty fat pitch, but I didn't want to walk the guy." The bomb extended the Bat's Amore lead from one to four, but the Spuds weren't able to plate even one in the seventh, so it was ultimately academic. "Whether we lose by four or lose by one, we still lose," Harrison said with a shrug.

For game two the Spuds shifted to Field 2, where they got a pleasant surprise. "Hey," Harrison said as they approached the other diamond, "is that J.T.?!" Indeed it was J.T., the only good umpire in the entire Seattle Parks & Rec staple of officials and the only one whose demeanor and engagement is welcome by all and adds to the fun of the game. "I went up to him before our second game got going. 'Are we glad to see you,' I told him, though I didn't get into the problems we just had with the other guy. Seriously, I wish we had J.T. for every game."

Having a superior umpire may have added to the overall enjoyment, but the end result of the nightcap was the same. "Both games were 12-8, but this one seemed a lot worse somehow," said Starr. That likely was because the opposition, the Little Frogs, scored first and were never behind at any point in the game.

"Clearly, they were out for revenge," Tschider said, referring to last week's Spuddie victory over the Frogs.

Thirst for vengeance or not ("I say not," Starr remarked, noting the general friendliness of the Frog squad), the petite amphibians scored two in the first on three singles and a sacrifice fly. Though the Spuds answered with two of their own in the home half, the Frogs got them back in the second thanks to a pair of walks and two more singles. "I can't blame the umpiring for those walks," starting  pitcher Harrison said. "I mean, J.T. was even giving me strikes on the corners—no other SPR ump ever gives you the corners. I just didn't have the good stuff this game." The Frogs would add an unearned run in the third, then three runs in the fourth and three more in the fifth. That made the score 11-2, a pounding more reminiscent of typical Smiling Potato games that end with a premature mercy-rule finish.

Not quite at that threshold, though, the Spuds showed some life in their half of the fifth. Mirza led off the frame with her fourth hit of the day, then Harrison walked and both advanced on Palmer's groundout. Tschider made the second out on a harmless comebacker, but Starr singled to left to drive in two, Amster singled, and then Fryan clubbed a double to left-center field that scored Starr.

The score remained 11-4 until the seventh, when the Frogs got one more on a double and an error to cap their scoring. In the home half, the Spuds chose not to go quietly—Harrison led off with an infield single, Palmer grounded into a forceout, and Tschider singled to right. Starr forced Palmer at third, but then Amster laced a base hit to center to load the bases. Fryan tapped back to the pitcher, but instead of an easy second out, the pitcher threw the ball past second base into the outfield, allowing Tschider to cross the plate and keeping the sacks full. Dan Stevens followed with a sharp single to score two more before Kim Stevens went down on strikes and McCoy ended the game on an out of some kind that no one recorded on the scorecard.

"Eh, could have been worse," Harrison said. "I mean, what were the odds that we would get two wins in a season? All in all, finishing with a couple of relatively close games, getting through the season with fewer than half our games mercy-ruled, you know, it feels OK."

Eaton was less philosophical about the night. "I hit like shit today," he said. "If I'd gotten some hits we would have won these." Crawford reminded him of the three runs scoring on his deep fly in the first game, but it didn't soothe the shortstop. "That was an error, KM! An error! That. Doesn't. Count."

Reflecting on the night at the bar afterward, McCoy saw things in a positive light. "Doubleheaders are great," he said between beers. "It's the only way everyone gets enough at-bats to feel like they contributed."

Eberts chimed in, "Especially Amna! Four-hit hot girl! Whoo!"

The Smiling Potatoes of Death return to the field Wednesday evening for playoffs, taking on the heavily-favored Cattle in a longshot attempt to continue in the postseason.