Spuds have way more fun, still lose

Last night the Smiling Potatoes of Death were shut out 11-0 by the Cookieheads at Ballard Playfield 2. Despite being outhit 22-11 and failing to score a single run, the Spuds were nevertheless upbeat. "Well, we got creamed again," said losing pitcher Tim Harrison (0-4), "but it was a cleaner clock-cleaning than we've been used to."

One factor in the improved attitudes was the new umpire on the field. After last week's abysmal performance by home plate umpire Chris Somethingorother, who was bad at every single aspect of his job and was later found to have been harrassing the female players, league officials removed him from duty. ("He was also high," added OF/SS Chris Eaton, who was not actually at last week's game. "OK, well, he's usually high, so he was probably high!") The new umpire, who goes by the name J.T., was of a quality never before seen in a Ballard division game for at least a decade.

"The new guy is fantastic," Harrison said. "I mean, he'd fit right in with the umps I work with at [other softball league]. He not only knows his rulebook but he shifts positions, moves around the infield, projects when he calls balls and strikes, and engages with the players in a not-at-all-creepy way." When asked what this means for his claim of vast superiority of the other league's officials over the Seattle Parks & Rec staff, the pitcher/first baseman said, "Well, on average the disparity is still huge, so I'm not going back on it, but I will have to rethink the idea that the worst of our [other league] umps is better than the best of SPR's. I'd work with J.T. any day of the week. I don't know what J.T. stands for, but I'm going to assume it's James Tiberius, as he's clearly the Captain Kirk of SPR."

Other areas of good vibe came from the Spud defense. Center fielder Jamie Penney made three outstanding catches, covering lots of ground on high flies and spearing low liners; catcher Mack "Don't call him Bones" McCoy got an out on a Cookiehead racing home; reliever Dan Stevens caught a missile of a comebacker to save himself a bruised sternum; and second baseman K.M. Crawford speared a line drive to save multiple runs. "I love this game!" said McCoy after the play at home.

At the plate, the Spuds weren't as fortunate, with only OF/P Stevens and IF/OF Sean George reaching base in every at-bat. McCoy could have joined that group, but in both of his ABs his shots to the outfield were run down by speedy Cookiehead fielders. "I hate this game!" McCoy was heard to say when returning the the dugout after his second plate appearance.

In taking his fourth loss, Harrison commended his defense. "The fielders were great. We only made, what, five errors? Pretty good for us. And Jamie really saved my bacon out there." As it was, the southpaw still surrendered nine runs in five frames (seven earned), most in the first inning. "That's our bugaboo," he said. "It's like [co-captain Stacey] Starr Power says, we always have one inning that gets away from us, and if we can control that we can actually win once in a while."

The Cookieheads plated seven of their runs in the first. After that, things were relatively smooth and Harrison and Stevens kept the game in relative reach. "We weren't mercy-ruled," noted Crawford. "That's good, right?"

It was the fourth consecutive non-mercy-rule-shortened game for the Spuds, though the third one was due to umpire incompetence.

The Spuds next take the field next Wednesday at Ballard Community Center Fields against the Seattle Cattle.