Capitulation at Versailles

When Felon47 announced he had reached an agreement on a "memo of understanding"—which he, of course, called a "deal"—with Iran that would end the war he started for no reason and with no authorization, he wouldn't let anyone see the text of the memo. Friday, he said. We'll have a "signing ceremony" and it'll be released then.

Uh-huh.

I translated this as "the agreement is so bad, so politically toxic, so embarrassing to the United States that I can't let it out until fewer people are paying attention." Someone explained to him the concept of "take out the trash day," which he only partly comprehended, and then made up a nonexistent ceremony that would trumpet this "deal" which is nothing more than an agreement to reach an agreement and points that the eventual agreement should include. You don't do a signing ceremony for that.

And there was none. In fact, he signed the damn thing early, not bothering to wait until Friday, maybe thinking that since he told us it would be Friday that we wouldn't notice it done on Wednesday, with no pomp and circumstance. And he did it at the Palace of Versailles, of all places.

Since he's an utter buffoon, he still talked to the press about it and was forced to admit things while still trying to gaslight everyone into thinking he'd achieved ... something. Anything. That his stupid war wasn't completely counterproductive and wasteful and damaging, not to mention lethal to thousands.

The agreement with Iran that had been in place before Felon47 came into office the first time, as Fraudster45, was a painstakingly negotiated, highly detailed triumph of international diplomacy known as the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action (JPCOA). An achievement of greatness by the Obama administration, it had already accomplished what Felon47 has repeatedly touted as his primary goal for his war: to prevent Iran from  joining the nuclear weapons club. It had placed specific restrictions on what Iran could and could not develop regarding nuclear power technology. It had safeguards, enforcement mechanisms, inspections. This is what Felon47 has continually insisted was "the worst deal ever," "a disaster," and "a road to [Iran getting] a nuclear weapon." Undoubtedly without reading a word of it, as Fraudster45 he withdrew the United States from the agreement, effectively scuttling it, for no reason other than it was something achieved by President Obama.

Having decried the JPCOA in extreme terms for years, Felon47 went to war. Why? No one knows, really. We can speculate, but no matter what we conclude, there was no sane reason. But the result of that utter waste of lives, money, resources, and credibility is, for now, the memo.

Which gives Iran:

• Security from further interference in their affairs, e.g. freedom to continue in oppressing their people and conducting terrorism at will;
• A new authority, with some input from other states abutting the Persian Gulf, to charge tolls for shipments to go through the Strait of Hormuz, which heretofore has been accepted to be an international waterway not subject to control by Iran or any other country; 
• A minimum of three-hundred-billion dollars "for the reconstruction and economic development of the Islamic Republic of Iran";
• The termination of all economic sanctions against Iran, including those imposed by the UN and IAEA, which the US government has no authority over;
• Nuclear restrictions less severe than those in the JPCOA;
• Restoration of Iran's ability to participate in international banking services, thus the ability to sell oil at market rates instead of the prior necessarily lesser prices; and
• The return of all frozen Iranian assets with zero restrictions on their use.

And which gives the United States:

• A promise that Iran won't attack it or interfere with internal US policies.

So, Felon47 tears up a negotiated agreement that was a brilliant success at containing nuclear proliferation; bombs the crap out of the facilities resurgent since that agreement was torn up; launches a war without any legal authorization or rationale that depletes the US military, kills thousands of people and wounds untold others, costs the American taxpayers an estimated $50-$100 billion in direct expense and uncounted dollars in indirect expenses, installs a younger, more hardline Ayatollah as Iran's leader, puts the Iranian people under a harsher and better funded regime, and inflicts enormous damage on the global economy; signs a memo agreeing to give Iran everything it could possibly want including more billions of US funds (despite what JD Vance says, there is no way that $300+ billion fund will contain no American money); and calls it all a victory.

Some victory; the memo is so much like a surrender document that the Iranians are probably saying to themselves, "dang, we also should have added in that Puerto Rico is ours now."

Nevertheless, Felon47 posted this on his janky social media app on Saturday: "Radical Left fools and Dumocrats realize how well we have done in our War against Iran, with their Country being completely defeated." Even his gaslighting attempts are incoherent.

Yet, immediately after signing the memo, while still in France and presumably jetlagged and unable to function at what passes for normal proficiency for him, he told reporters some rare truths. Asked about the lopsided nature of the memo, he said, "If I went out and continued to bomb them … I'd get bad press. There's nothing I can do." He also acknowledged that Iran had all the power regarding their closure of the Strait of Hormuz, saying the memo terms "allow the ships to go. If we keep bombing, those ships won't be going." This is important to Felon47 because, as he admitted, the US would otherwise "run out of [oil] reserves in four weeks." He recognized that his war had begun to ruin the economy and he needed to end it because he couldn't stand the idea that he'd be remembered as Herbert Hoover is. "He was the one I didn't want to be." (It's notable that in this rare bout of honesty he didn't say he didn't want the American people to endure the hardship of a new Great Depression, he said he didn't want his reputation damaged. Well, too late, dude, you'd have to do some epic atonements to rise to within shouting distance of Hoover.)

We find ourselves in a position of hoping this terrible agreement survives the 60-day period it specifies as a window to complete a real treaty. We are led by a regime so utterly incompetent and corrupt that our best option is now this weak band-aid attempt to staunch the entirely self-inflicted bleeding caused by the alleged president running with scissors.

It probably won't survive the 60 days, and even if it does, any final agreement will need to be signed off on by the United Nations Security Council, which seems iffy.

Elect a clown, expect a circus. Also expect the circus to (eventually?) leave town leaving enormous piles of manure to contend with that never seem to end.