Republican devolution: From championing abolition to paying tribute to the Don

The Republican Party was born in opposition to slavery. It championed liberty and inclusion, welcoming members from many political persuasions into the ranks so long as they supported the goal of abolition. In the ensuing 170 years it has evolved a lot, morphing into a home for those who favor oppression rather than oppose it; those who hoard wealth rather than use it to better society; those who wish to impose their religiosity and morality on others rather than defend freedom of faith and values.

It's impressive, really, how much of a fun-house-mirror distortion the GOP is now from its beginnings. It didn't take all that long to start morphing; after the failure of Reconstruction, the party fractured into racist and non- (or less-) racist wings (the "Lily-Whites" and the "Black and Tans"). The former became "conservative Republicans" that preferred maintaining discrimination in the defeated Confederacy as a means of healing the reconstructed nation. Fracturing continued with disagreements on economic policy and corruption joining the rift on civil rights, and by the turn of the 20th century the core of what we have today as the modern Republican party was in place—it just took 60-80 years, depending  on your metrics, to alienate out everyone else that still held to less selfish ideals.

Then another 20 to entrench the party as corrupt, irresponsible, and opposed to the well-being of the nation as a whole in favor of the greed and consolidated power of a few; then another 16 to become truly and fully modeled on organized crime and the mafia.

The alleged president often takes hostages, like he did this past week with the overwhelmingly supported housing bill that passed both houses of Congress by huge margins, refusing to sign it unless the Senate also passed a voter-suppression law, essentially telling Congress, "nice bill ya got here—be a shame if somethin' happened to it." But it's really Congressional Republicans that are the problem. The Godfather can't succeed without support from his Capos and their crews, and the Speaker of the House isn't bothering to hide the fact that he's the top Capo in the DJT Mafia.

Speaker Mike Johnson, or "Holy Mike," if you prefer, said this in an address to the "Faith and Freedom Coalition" yesterday:

If we were to lose these midterms, heaven forbid, these Democrats—y’all, impeachment’s not even the big concern—they will turn every committee of Congress into an investigative body, and they’ll go after the president’s family, the cabinet, his donors and friends, half of you in this room will be targeted. I run the protection program. I’ll take care of you.

There's Holy Mike threatening me with a good time. A Congress that actually conducts oversight? That investigates malfeasance? That opposes criminality in government? Yes, please.

But he sees those things as a different sort of threat. I don't know about "half of you in this room" being worthy of Congressional investigations—certainly possible given Holy Mike's in-person audience there, largely GOP donors and electioneering footsoldiers from Ralph Reed's twisted-Christian army—but yeah, the president's sons' corrupt government contracts; cabinet officers' incompetence, corruption, and abuses of power; people bribing the regime (Holy Mike is calling them "donors"); all ripe for committee subpoenas and referrals for charges. But is even that enough for Holy Mike to consider a threat? Does he think investigations will lead to him? He's a capo, maybe the most powerful one, and despite his utter fecklessness at being Speaker of the House, he has thus far prevented untold scandals from becoming catastrophic for the regime. What crimes has he committed in the process?

Or, maybe he sees a takedown of the regime and/or exposure of all the criminality still hidden beneath the surface as an indirect threat to himself. As he himself put it, he runs the protection program. And if he fails to protect the regime, the regime will ruin him? Seems a likely fear. Cross the Don, or even appear to cross the Don, and even a Capo might be taken out in a message job. With just the slightest provocation from the Don, the pardoned thug army of enforcers would just change "Pence" to "Johnson" when they build their next gallows and chant as they riot.

"I run the protection program." What a thing to say.

Having identified the president's family, cabinet officers, GOP financiers, and "friends" of the president as being in need of protection, having insinuated that the audience at the "Faith and Freedom" event needs protection, having admitted that he runs a protection "program," the question Holy Mike needs to be asked by every reporter in the country is, "what are you protecting them from?" Of course, he would say "witch hunts" or something along those lines, but he knows full well that it's really only his crowd that engages in made-up accusatory behavior. What he's telling people to be afraid of are prosecutions for real malfeasance.

The Independent reported on it with a direct and honest headline no American publication would use today: "Mike Johnson warns roomful of conservatives to reelect Republicans or face prison."

The vast majority of elected Democrats don't need such protection because they aren't criminals. "If you don’t want to be prosecuted for crimes," said Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, "don’t do crimes." AOC elaborated on Holy Mike's remarks, noting that he is trying to "protect a class of impunity in America that says, ‘You can commit whatever crime, and so long as you pay a check to us, we will protect you.’ And that is a model of extortion in American politics."

November can't come fast enough. Depose Holy Mike from his Speakership, investigate every scandal, impeach the whole regime. Or we'll all be sleeping with the fishes.

Tagged Politics, President VonClownstick, Republicans, Posted on June 27, 2026 at 9:53PM   |   Permalink   |     |  

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Umpire angst

Yesterday was another five-game Sunday for your friendly neighborhood umpire, only it wasn't quite in my friendly neighborhood. Usually on Sundays I get assigned the park that is, in fact, nearest my neighborhood; close enough to comfortably bike there if I so choose, which I have on occasion. No, this shift was in my old neighborhood, the first Seattle neighborhood I ever lived in atop Queen Anne hill.

The hill has changed a great deal since I lived there, but it's still a terrific little community within the city. What hasn't changed much is the West Queen Anne park, with its three ballfields and playground. That's where I spent my day, field number one, which thankfully has shade over home plate for most of the afternoon.

It wasn't as hot as the previous Sunday, about ten degrees (Fahrenheit) cooler, so in that respect it wasn't as bad as last week. Nevertheless, eight hours plus is a long time for me to be out there umping, and as expected, by the time I was five hours in I was getting cranky.

While the first game included a few people I like and the second featured a team I've become rather fond of, game three was with two teams I didn't know. New to the league and/or new to me, they were a little on the too-competitive-for-my-taste end of the scale and there was a fair amount of weirdness in the game. Add to the weirdness was the fact that we were behind schedule by 20 minutes as it was, thanks to the first game going off the rails in the seventh inning with the then-losing-but-ultimately-winning team plating 11 runs and forcing a bottom half of the inning; that hosed the schedule for the rest of the day.

Anyway, there were a few arguments in that third game, none of which lasted long but also none of which I was sure I was on the right side of given the circumstances. When there's only one ump working a game there are bound to be things that fall outside one's visual field, and I was getting tired and cranky anyway, so by the time we got an hour and ten minutes into our eighty-five allotted minutes of gametime, I had to call a conditional last inning—though we were only going into the 6th, it would be the final frame unless this top half went by in under five minutes. It did not, so when the bottom was completed, I called an end to the game and some of the players were pissed. "But we started 20 minutes late!" "You didn't call 'last inning!'" "What the fuck, man?" I had zero patience left and my replies showed it. "Yes, and if we continued we'd be at least thirty minutes late for the next one." "I absolutely did, you just weren't paying attention." "Say that again, see if it helps your cause."

We moved on, but as the teams were clearing out of their respective dugouts I felt a need to extend an apology for the sake of keeping peace within the league if nothing else, saying sorry for the sharp tone, this wasn't my best game and I'm a little pissed with myself about a couple things and it's leaking out. Half true, half CYA.

The final two included a doubleheader with a team two guys I know from Cap Hill games were subbing for, so I had some friendly faces there. It went OK, but I was beat. By game five of the day I could barely muster enough energy/motivation to jog down toward first base to make calls, I stayed in the shade and hoped nothing was too close half the time.

My fellow ump working the opposite QA field got the short end of the stick in the sense that he had to work the field with no shade for the first three-plus games, but then one of the teams scheduled for his fifth game didn't show up, so he got to declare a forfeit and bug out early. He could have come over and been a base ump for my game, but I don't begrudge him for taking off. Five-gamers are brutal, even for a twenty-something punk like him. (Kidding, I don't think he's a punk. Barely know the guy at all, really.)

As I was returning our gear to the office, I ran into another ump who had the games at my regular Sunday spot and asked him how it went and I learned that I'd been shifted to QA for the day because he had newbies to train and the schedule worked best to do that at Northacres. Huh, OK. Nothing against my fellow ump there, but he's relatively new himself and maybe the youngest guy on the staff. I later looked over the rest of the assignments for Sunday and saw that every field except QA had trainees.

Used to be, I trained a lot of new umps. Then the owner of the business came down to check out one of my trainee games and undercut everything I said the the new guy and I told him off, not knowing who he was. Oops. (On the other hand, if you ask me he wasn't helping the new guy at all and I was prevented from doing so myself.) Since then, what do you know, I don't get trainees anymore. OK, that's their business and all, but I kind of resent it; teaching is one of my roads-not-taken and I enjoyed training the new guys, I think I was good at it. But whatever, their loss.

Anyhow, after I got home I was completely wiped out and nursing a headache; I watched the afternoon's Mariner game and crashed hard, then slept away a goodly chunk of today. Spent the rest of the day lounging on the balcony reading and dozing. These long Sunday shifts do me in for far too long, I shouldn't accept them anymore, at least not more than once in a while. Next week I'm back to my normal spot and it's only four games, so that's good. And I have a relatively small schedule of games during the week too, which will be a welcome little break.

Between the long Sundays; the fact that I as one of the senior, seasoned, most popular umps is barred from training newbies; and the fact that I am thirty years older than most everyone else on field staff (and probably older than everyone in the office too), I have been wondering again if I'm much longer for this gig. We'll see. I think the thought will pass, I'll get over my age-related insecurities, and keep on doing it as long as I feel fit enough to and they keep asking me back.

But no more  five-game Sundays, maybe.

Tagged Umping, Aging, Posted on June 23, 2026 at 12:15AM   |   Permalink   |     |  

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Capitulation at Versailles

When Felon47 announced he had reached an agreement on a "memo of understanding"—which he, of course, called a "deal"—with Iran that would end the war he started for no reason and with no authorization, he wouldn't let anyone see the text of the memo. Friday, he said. We'll have a "signing ceremony" and it'll be released then.

Uh-huh.

I translated this as "the agreement is so bad, so politically toxic, so embarrassing to the United States that I can't let it out until fewer people are paying attention." Someone explained to him the concept of "take out the trash day," which he only partly comprehended, and then made up a nonexistent ceremony that would trumpet this "deal" which is nothing more than an agreement to reach an agreement and points that the eventual agreement should include. You don't do a signing ceremony for that.

And there was none. In fact, he signed the damn thing early, not bothering to wait until Friday, maybe thinking that since he told us it would be Friday that we wouldn't notice it done on Wednesday, with no pomp and circumstance. And he did it at the Palace of Versailles, of all places.

Since he's an utter buffoon, he still talked to the press about it and was forced to admit things while still trying to gaslight everyone into thinking he'd achieved ... something. Anything. That his stupid war wasn't completely counterproductive and wasteful and damaging, not to mention lethal to thousands.

The agreement with Iran that had been in place before Felon47 came into office the first time, as Fraudster45, was a painstakingly negotiated, highly detailed triumph of international diplomacy known as the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action (JPCOA). An achievement of greatness by the Obama administration, it had already accomplished what Felon47 has repeatedly touted as his primary goal for his war: to prevent Iran from  joining the nuclear weapons club. It had placed specific restrictions on what Iran could and could not develop regarding nuclear power technology. It had safeguards, enforcement mechanisms, inspections. This is what Felon47 has continually insisted was "the worst deal ever," "a disaster," and "a road to [Iran getting] a nuclear weapon." Undoubtedly without reading a word of it, as Fraudster45 he withdrew the United States from the agreement, effectively scuttling it, for no reason other than it was something achieved by President Obama.

Having decried the JPCOA in extreme terms for years, Felon47 went to war. Why? No one knows, really. We can speculate, but no matter what we conclude, there was no sane reason. But the result of that utter waste of lives, money, resources, and credibility is, for now, the memo.

Which gives Iran:

• Security from further interference in their affairs, e.g. freedom to continue in oppressing their people and conducting terrorism at will;
• A new authority, with some input from other states abutting the Persian Gulf, to charge tolls for shipments to go through the Strait of Hormuz, which heretofore has been accepted to be an international waterway not subject to control by Iran or any other country; 
• A minimum of three-hundred-billion dollars "for the reconstruction and economic development of the Islamic Republic of Iran";
• The termination of all economic sanctions against Iran, including those imposed by the UN and IAEA, which the US government has no authority over;
• Nuclear restrictions less severe than those in the JPCOA;
• Restoration of Iran's ability to participate in international banking services, thus the ability to sell oil at market rates instead of the prior necessarily lesser prices; and
• The return of all frozen Iranian assets with zero restrictions on their use.

And which gives the United States:

• A promise that Iran won't attack it or interfere with internal US policies.

So, Felon47 tears up a negotiated agreement that was a brilliant success at containing nuclear proliferation; bombs the crap out of the facilities resurgent since that agreement was torn up; launches a war without any legal authorization or rationale that depletes the US military, kills thousands of people and wounds untold others, costs the American taxpayers an estimated $50-$100 billion in direct expense and uncounted dollars in indirect expenses, installs a younger, more hardline Ayatollah as Iran's leader, puts the Iranian people under a harsher and better funded regime, and inflicts enormous damage on the global economy; signs a memo agreeing to give Iran everything it could possibly want including more billions of US funds (despite what JD Vance says, there is no way that $300+ billion fund will contain no American money); and calls it all a victory.

Some victory; the memo is so much like a surrender document that the Iranians are probably saying to themselves, "dang, we also should have added in that Puerto Rico is ours now."

Nevertheless, Felon47 posted this on his janky social media app on Saturday: "Radical Left fools and Dumocrats realize how well we have done in our War against Iran, with their Country being completely defeated." Even his gaslighting attempts are incoherent.

Yet, immediately after signing the memo, while still in France and presumably jetlagged and unable to function at what passes for normal proficiency for him, he told reporters some rare truths. Asked about the lopsided nature of the memo, he said, "If I went out and continued to bomb them … I'd get bad press. There's nothing I can do." He also acknowledged that Iran had all the power regarding their closure of the Strait of Hormuz, saying the memo terms "allow the ships to go. If we keep bombing, those ships won't be going." This is important to Felon47 because, as he admitted, the US would otherwise "run out of [oil] reserves in four weeks." He recognized that his war had begun to ruin the economy and he needed to end it because he couldn't stand the idea that he'd be remembered as Herbert Hoover is. "He was the one I didn't want to be." (It's notable that in this rare bout of honesty he didn't say he didn't want the American people to endure the hardship of a new Great Depression, he said he didn't want his reputation damaged. Well, too late, dude, you'd have to do some epic atonements to rise to within shouting distance of Hoover.)

We find ourselves in a position of hoping this terrible agreement survives the 60-day period it specifies as a window to complete a real treaty. We are led by a regime so utterly incompetent and corrupt that our best option is now this weak band-aid attempt to staunch the entirely self-inflicted bleeding caused by the alleged president running with scissors.

It probably won't survive the 60 days, and even if it does, any final agreement will need to be signed off on by the United Nations Security Council, which seems iffy.

Elect a clown, expect a circus. Also expect the circus to (eventually?) leave town leaving enormous piles of manure to contend with that never seem to end.

Tagged Politics, Republicans, President VonClownstick, Posted on June 22, 2026 at 7:04PM   |   Permalink   |     |  

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Spuds have way more fun, still lose

Last night the Smiling Potatoes of Death were shut out 11-0 by the Cookieheads at Ballard Playfield 2. Despite being outhit 22-11 and failing to score a single run, the Spuds were nevertheless upbeat. "Well, we got creamed again," said losing pitcher Tim Harrison (0-4), "but it was a cleaner clock-cleaning than we've been used to."

One factor in the improved attitudes was the new umpire on the field. After last week's abysmal performance by home plate umpire Chris Somethingorother, who was bad at every single aspect of his job and was later found to have been harrassing the female players, league officials removed him from duty. ("He was also high," added OF/SS Chris Eaton, who was not actually at last week's game. "OK, well, he's usually high, so he was probably high!") The new umpire, who goes by the name J.T., was of a quality never before seen in a Ballard division game for at least a decade.

"The new guy is fantastic," Harrison said. "I mean, he'd fit right in with the umps I work with at [other softball league]. He not only knows his rulebook but he shifts positions, moves around the infield, projects when he calls balls and strikes, and engages with the players in a not-at-all-creepy way." When asked what this means for his claim of vast superiority of the other league's officials over the Seattle Parks & Rec staff, the pitcher/first baseman said, "Well, on average the disparity is still huge, so I'm not going back on it, but I will have to rethink the idea that the worst of our [other league] umps is better than the best of SPR's. I'd work with J.T. any day of the week. I don't know what J.T. stands for, but I'm going to assume it's James Tiberius, as he's clearly the Captain Kirk of SPR."

Other areas of good vibe came from the Spud defense. Center fielder Jamie Penney made three outstanding catches, covering lots of ground on high flies and spearing low liners; catcher Mack "Don't call him Bones" McCoy got an out on a Cookiehead racing home; reliever Dan Stevens caught a missile of a comebacker to save himself a bruised sternum; and second baseman K.M. Crawford speared a line drive to save multiple runs. "I love this game!" said McCoy after the play at home.

At the plate, the Spuds weren't as fortunate, with only OF/P Stevens and IF/OF Sean George reaching base in every at-bat. McCoy could have joined that group, but in both of his ABs his shots to the outfield were run down by speedy Cookiehead fielders. "I hate this game!" McCoy was heard to say when returning the the dugout after his second plate appearance.

In taking his fourth loss, Harrison commended his defense. "The fielders were great. We only made, what, five errors? Pretty good for us. And Jamie really saved my bacon out there." As it was, the southpaw still surrendered nine runs in five frames (seven earned), most in the first inning. "That's our bugaboo," he said. "It's like [co-captain Stacey] Starr Power says, we always have one inning that gets away from us, and if we can control that we can actually win once in a while."

The Cookieheads plated seven of their runs in the first. After that, things were relatively smooth and Harrison and Stevens kept the game in relative reach. "We weren't mercy-ruled," noted Crawford. "That's good, right?"

It was the fourth consecutive non-mercy-rule-shortened game for the Spuds, though the third one was due to umpire incompetence.

The Spuds next take the field next Wednesday at Ballard Community Center Fields against the Seattle Cattle.

Posted on June 18, 2026 at 5:06PM   |   Permalink   |     |  

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Pride and prejudice

June is, of course, Pride Month, when our LGBTQ compatriots celebrate being here and being queer, and Major League Baseball teams all have Pride Night on their June promotional calendars. Well, most do. For some reason, the San Diego Padres held theirs in May. And for a quite different reason, the Texas Rangers don't have one at all. (The Rangers also have a commemorative statue of a pro-lynching segregationist at their ballpark, so they've got a particular vibe to them.)

As I understand it, the whole concept of Pride Month and, by extension, Pride Night—aside from the usual crass commercial reason of selling tickets—is a form of celebratory protest. The gay community has been historically marginalized, to put it mildly, and pride parades and the like have been a way to both enjoy a party amongst themselves and to prominently remind the rest of us that they exist, they're not going away, there are a lot of them, and they're really not so scary so why all the fuss? As time has gone on and social acceptance improved, the emphasis has shifted toward the celebration side of things and been less focused on the protest angle, but here in the first third of 21st Century there's sadly still a need for both.

Anyway, the point is that while most(?) of us enjoy things like Pride Nights for what they're intended to be, celebratory events akin to similar promotions like Native American Heritage Night or Gonzaga University Alumni Night or even Little League Day, where a subset of the crowd is recognized for their community within the greater community, some don't.

Two recent Pride Nights highlight the disparity: June 15 in Chicago and June 12 in San Francisco. The crowd at Wrigley Field was into it, as evidenced by this presumably straight guy enjoying a truly great night from center fielder Pete Crow-Armstrong, #4, who hit for the cycle (in reverse order, no less—homer-triple-double-single) in the Cubs' win:

The Cubs also rainbowified their light structures, had the Rainbow Dads family throw out the ceremonial first pitch, had the Chicago Gay Men's Chorus on field for a number, and promoted local LGBT-owned businesses. Near as I can tell, the players were enjoying or at the very least not bothered by the whole deal.

On the other hand, the San Francisco Giants' Pride Night was marred by a number of Giants players protesting against it. And by extension—no, check that, not by extension, directly—protesting against the people in the stands, in the city, watching on television, anywhere on Earth, basically, who didn't share their homophobic bigotry.

Pitchers Landen Roupp, JT Brubaker, Sam Henges, and Ryan Walker, each of whom appeared in the game, either eschewed wearing the team's rainbow-logo Pride caps or defaced them with a bible verse (Genesis 9:12-16) they see as "reclaiming" the symbol of the rainbow from the gay community and for Christianity. "The verse says the rainbow is a symbol of God's covenant to us and us as believers stand firm in that,” Roupp said, not knowing his grammar was as flawed as his selective reading of the verse in question. Henges was more straightforward, if you'll pardon the unfortunate pun. "I don't morally support it," he said.

Manager Tony Vitello said nothing, allowed the pitchers to express their contempt for their fellow human beings with no consequence, but the Commissioner's Office—under pressure from media backlash, not out of any sense of justice—issued a warning to those players in a weak attempt to stop future offenses. I say it was only under pressure from bad PR because this exact thing has happened before and they did nothing. Last year it was Dodger pitcher and future Hall of Famer Clayton Kershaw protesting with the same bible verse. Fellow Dodgers Blake Treinen and Alex Call refused to wear the rainbow caps, no consequence. A few years back, several Tampa Bay Rays tore the rainbow patch the team wore on their Pride Night off their uniforms and all Rays manager Kevin Cash had to say was "we want to support our players that choose to wear [the patch] or choose not to wear [it]."

Aside from Henges, who seems quite willing to be upfront about his bigotry, all of the players involved in these protestations offered up nice-sounding verbiage to excuse their behavior as being about love and faith and Jesus, either obtuse to the fact that they were full of shit or knowing it full well.

The Genesis verse these people cite concludes with this, as the Word of God: "I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind." They seem to be conflating that "covenant" with a hateful behavior never evidenced or referred to by this Jesus fellow they claim to revere and giving no thought to the "all living creatures" aspect of it.

As for the Giants, the team issued a statement that fell flat. "We understand the choice by individual players has caused pain and anger to many in the LGBTQ+ community and we are sorry for that." OK. What are you going to do about that? Anything other than this non-apology apology?

Measures of inclusion like Pride Nights, symbols of progress and recognition of wrongs done in the past, these sorts of small things aid in making our society more enlightened, more civil, and bring us closer to that "more perfect union" we like to tout every July 4th. They hurt no one, they damage nothing. Roupp, Henges, and company, by making a stink about it, hurt their fanbase and their team's reputation, alienate people they work with, and gin up hatred among others to perpetuate the problem. Giants broadcaster (and former pitcher) Mike Krukow summed it up thusly: "What makes San Francisco so great is the acceptance of others—ethnicities, opinions, cultures—and that extends to the gay community. I would just hope [the players] would understand the demographic of San Francisco and respect people for who they are. What you do to your uniform, that has weight to it. You can offend people. And why would you do that?"

So, what do you say, America? Let's be more like the Cubs and the Wrigley dude with the sign, and less like the Giants' pitching staff. Can we do that?

Tagged Baseball, Society, Posted on June 17, 2026 at 5:20PM   |   Permalink   |     |  

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Umpire diary

Last night I had a three-game umpiring shift at Cap Hill starting less than 24 hours after the five-gamer at Northacres the day before ended. Because I'm the old man of the league staff, I don't bounce back from those brutal five-gamers like the other umps do and I was thus at less-than-100% and would rather not have been working. My feet hurt before we even got going. (Though that last probably had more to do with me wearing the wrong shoes. Those need more insoles.)

Still, it wasn't a bad night. In what might be a first, the many people sprawled all over the field when I was setting up moved out of the way on their own accord, not one of them required cajoling of any kind. Then my first game featured a bunch of players I like and who were happily bantering with me and each other the whole game even though it was a lopsided affair in which the losing side only avoided a shutout with one run in the final frame. It's good that the earlier game featured those folks and wasn't close because of the usual problem of the sun setting directly in my line of sight from behind home plate; on a few pitches/plays I simply could not see. During the worst of it I only half-jokingly said to the pitchers, "I'll warn you right now, I'm just guessing on these." On one pitch I just flat out said, "I couldn't see it, so ball one. It has to be something." Apparently it was a pretty good pitch, if the reaction from the (very understanding) pitcher is anything to go by.

It occurred to me between innings that what we really need at that field is a giant tarp, maybe 60 feet wide and 20 tall, strung between the center/left-center field light poles. Preferably with a mechanized mount and a sort of pulley system and a remote control to shift it up and down as needed when the sun sets. That shouldn't be so hard to put together, right?

Game two turned out to be a mere scrimmage as the favored team only had seven players show up and thus had to forfeit. So instead we did a little mixing and matching of players to fill out two full squads and did six innings of practice; not ideal, but hey, no stakes on a playoff night means no arguments, so I'll take it.

The final game was 180º from the first, a back-and-forth affair that ended 21-19 after a reversal of fortune in the bottom of the 6th. It was also interrupted by (a) soccer shenanigans, including soccer players clumsily shoving their goal structure through the middle of our field because they couldn't maneuver it around; (b) a small child throwing a tennis ball into our outfield over and over again for his dog to fetch until someone finally found the kid's parent/supervising grownup; and (c) a dude on a scooter crossing back and forth through the field, once perhaps not knowing he was in the way, but subsequent times, apparently, just to be an asshat. We didn't finish until 11:15.

No rules or call debates last night either, unlike Sunday afternoon when I had a guy whine about the arc of pitches being somehow insufficient because of not just height but angle, which is not a thing (that's what the strike zone is for) and someone else claim that baserunners who advanced on a sacrifice fly had both left their bases too early and should have been called out. (a) I know from lots of experience that you simply cannot watch more than one baserunner at a time with a sac fly to see when they leave their respective bases, and (b) that's not how outs work. The complainer did make a proper appeal at one of the bases, but it was the one I was not paying the most attention to since it wasn't the run-scoring possibility, so when I signaled "safe" (i.e. he didn't leave early) I was less certain than had they appealed at third, but since the complaint was about both of them I knew it wasn't really based in fact so I just ignored all further protest and moved on. Don't test me on five-game days.

Today I feel much better rested and will not make the shoe mistake again, so when I go to do tonight's single game it should be smoother sailing. It also won't be at Cap Hill, so crazy antics will be at a minimum.

 

Tagged Umping, Softball, Posted on June 16, 2026 at 5:49PM   |   Permalink   |     |  

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Potpourri

The metaphor isn't subtle. Americans, represented on the left, and the Republican Party, represented on the right.

Seems like a lot went on in the world this past weekend, but did it really? Let's see...

• White House announces war in Iran is over: Except it's not, at least not yet. All we really know is that there's a "memo of understanding" that includes a "cease-fire" and a 60-day timeline for a full agreement to be reached. Whatever documentation that has been agreed upon is still secret. Felon47 says we'll see it after a "signing ceremony" on Friday, which strikes me as more hyperbole since this is reportedly not a peace agreement but an agreement to discuss a peace agreement. A thing about which we've heard before that turned out to be baseless. So I'll believe it when I see the text and get confirmation from someone not affiliated with this corrupt and dishonest White House that all parties are on board with it. Regardless, it will shock me and most everyone who's been paying any attention at all if the end result of this fiasco is remotely close to what was the status quo before Felon47 as Fraudster45 torched the previous diplomatic agreement with Iran. No matter how he spins this, the alleged president undertook this deadly adventure for no sane reasons and achieved only negative results.
• Alleged president celebrates 80th birthday as if it's his 8th: Last year the toddler-in-chief held a military parade for himself that required massive repair to the DC road infrastructure after it was done. Almost no one attended and he fell asleep in the middle of it. This year he hosted corporately-sponsored brutality on public land, the White House lawn, where 14 modern-day gladiators-for-hire, decked out in faux-patriotic wardrobe, beat the shit out of each other in perhaps the most spot-on metaphor for the entire Felon47 regime. This was a crass, corrupt, likely illegal event which Felon47 and his sons have a financial stake in and which financially benefits corporate executives who will be expected to return the favor, yes. But it was also a spotlit image of Felon47’s id. Brutal violence as entertainment, bloodsport under advertising banners, all on grounds he does not own and does not have rights to use for profit. It combined almost all elements of the man's persona: Violence for violence's sake; grift and profiteering; spectacle, glitz, and "showmanship"; abuse of public property for the sake of flexing his own power; propaganda; mob-like dealmaking/extortion; and above all, a belief that brute force (and the threat thereof) is the only power that matters.
• American idiot leaves for G7: Felon 47 departed for Europe and a meeting of the G7 nations, a summit at which the other heads of state will have to find a way to tolerate his presence. As articulated by Ned Price, a State Department spokesman, “The bar for success at a multilateral summit like this is quite low during this administration.” Price elaborated to define success for the U.S. as the president "avoiding a massive blowup either in person or on social media." Summit host Emmanuel Macron is choosing the butter-him-up tactic, choosing to flatter Felon47’s ego to either smooth things over in general or as a means of manipulation for whatever good thing the rest of the G7 wants to achieve. I put the likelihood of Price seeing his bar for success met at maybe 35%.
• Ump works 8½ hours in the hot sun: On the micro scale, I had a five-game umpiring shift yesterday, a Sunday afternoon that reached 90° Fahrenheit, during which there are no breaks and only sporadic shade until about 6pm. As expected, by game five I was worn down, cranky, hungry, and good and ready to go home, but at least there weren't many points of conflict throughout the day. Just a couple of stupid things about balls and strikes that I never have patience for on a normal day. And now I've got to go out and do three more games tonight, and tonight's contests are playoffs. Hopefully, nobody amps up their machismo for them. I've been doing a whole lot of umping these past few weeks, and largely that's fine, but the five-gamers do make me question some of my life choices.

That's all I have time for right now. Ittekimasu.

Tagged Politics, Umping, Republicans, President VonClownstick, Posted on June 15, 2026 at 5:35PM   |   Permalink   |     |  

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Numb to incivility

If a G.I.Joe action-figure were brain-damanged, had Nazi tattoos, and came to life to get blackout drunk, you'd have this guy

Every now and then I am reminded of how truly inured our culture has become to a lack of civility and decorum in this, the age of Felon47.

Sometimes it happens just in my daily life encountering people "in the wild," like a couple of Sundays ago with the road rager and the overly-macho softball player, but more often it happens when I'm watching/reading/listening to the news. People, sometimes high-level officials even, think nothing of just oozing hostility and contempt to whomever they're speaking to. With no provocation at all, it's just the default—be belligerent.

What brings this up today is the recent questioning of the idiotic caricature of machismo masquerading as the Secretary of Defense. A reporter asked him quite reasonable questions about the indefensible, pointless, illegal, and wholly counterproductive war with Iran (though the reporter did not use those descriptors), and Secretary Kegstand responded with insults and dismissive doubletalk and ridiculous propaganda. The reporters, sadly, let him do so without pushback.

REPORTER:  You've just mentioned you plan to strike [Iran] hard tonight. If [that includes] hitting bridges and electrical infrastructure, how is that not a war crime? Targeting civilian infrastructure?

HEGSETH: That's precisely the kind of disingenuous question I'm used to from the media, impugning the motives of the folks on our side who are incredibly professional and incredibly effective.

Hegseth goes on to blather about how Iran's military sucks and how they need to "negotiate" with Felon47 and his staff of criminals, but he never addresses the question at all. And the reporter let's him get away with it! The reporter does not say, when Hegseth is done with his word-vomit, "sir, none of that addresses the issue of hitting civilian targets and war crimes," nor anything else of value. He does not say, "there is nothing disingenuous about my question, the US has already bombed water facilities and you've given no indication that you think that was anything other than good targeting." He does not say, "my question has nothing to do with 'folks on our side,' it has to do with decision-making by the Defense Department. You know, the agency you are in charge of."

Hegseth is utterly worthless as a government official. Worse than worthless, he produces negative worth. But this sort of reportage is also worthless. Why the media just parrots this guy and allows him to spout bullshit and hurl insults at them is, to say the least, counterproductive.

Of course, it starts at the top—the alleged President of the United States does exactly the same thing and thus people in positions like SecDef emulate his uncivil behavior, but unacknowledged alcoholic Pete Hegseth seems like the kind of guy who is just this way in every aspect of his life. I can imagine domestic interactions at home, with Mrs. Hegseth asking where he'd like to go for dinner and getting a sneering reply along the lines of "that's exactly the kind of counterfactual question I've come to expect from my wives" (he's on number three).

It's easy to blame the Felon47 regime for this new normal of belligerence. It's accurate to do so, sure, but as with many other aspects of our increasingly dystopian reality, I assign a sizeable share of blame to the American news media. They have accepted and even encouraged the normalizing of this incivility by not calling out the officials who behave in ways that not long ago would have been near-universally unacceptable.

Felon47 has the demeanor of a spoiled toddler, he whines and gripes about anything and everything that doesn't feed his ego, and yet when he abruptly walked out of an interview for Meet the Press last week, hurling insults and demeaning comments to the reporter (female, of course, his favorite sort to insult) and crushing the microphone as he went, that reporter's reaction was to declare that she had since spoken to "the President," excuse his behavior as related to the weather, and come to an agreement to do another interview later on. Epic fail, Meet the Press. Instead, a responsible journalistic follow-up would have been to point out that the things he was upset about being questioned on were more than legitimate topics and that his whiny replies were lies when they were relevant to the topic at all. Treating this sort of thing like it's perfectly acceptable behavior from anyone, let alone someone claiming to be President of the United States, only serves to exacerbate the greater cultural decline into hostility-as-default.

None of this is new info, we've all been living it, it just felt like something I needed to rant about for a few minutes.

Tagged Politics, Pete Hegseth, Culture, Republicans, President VonClownstick, Media, Posted on June 13, 2026 at 9:02PM   |   Permalink   |     |  

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Lemonade from lemons

Last night my softball team, the Smiling Potatoes of Death, played another game and once more got to play a full seven innings without being mercy ruled. You might think this is a celebratory event, continuing our unprecedented streak of non-mercy-rule-shortened games, but the only reason it wasn't shortened was because our umpire, the newly-christened Worst Umpire in the World, did not know what the score was.

I mean, we'll take it. We never like being told we only get four or five innings to play. But it was hard to enjoy once again, because of the ridiculous officiating.

We played against a team that is made up mostly of players I know from my Northacres ump shifts on Sundays, so it's not like we had no fun at all. And, most likely, I am more sensitive to the atrocious umpiring than the rest of my team is because I, as an ump myself, am so much more in tune with just how very bad this dude was at his job. (I'm by no means a perfect ump, I make plenty of mistakes, but not like this guy. I know the rules, for one thing, and if I'm not sure of something or I know I've blown a call I'll own it.)

Like a couple of weeks ago, I was only partly successful in holding my tongue during the game. While I did not attempt to give this guy a seminar on what the rulebook says about the batters' box, I did tell him that he had to actually, you know, make it known to the players beyond the batter that he was calling someone out for any reason, even if it is a made-up "violation" of a rule. When it seemed there was a missing baserunner, we had to ask him what was going on; he said he'd called someone out for stepping out of the box, and I told him that "none of us knew that," to which he replied, "that's not my fault."

"YES, IT IS." I said. "YOU'RE THE UMPIRE."

I also yelled to him that he had not called an out-of-play ball as being out of play and allowed an illegal home run. I also made reference while batting to his quiet "humf" noise to call a strike call as insufficient. I also did several nonverbal things that no doubt revealed my displeasure with the umpire's performance. At one point it became clear that my co-captain was a hair's breadth away from making a visit to the mound (I was pitching) to keep me from getting ejected. And yet, I really was holding back.

But after the game was over for a while, I began to change my attitude. Too late for this game, of course, but for next week and then on, I will not be voicing or expressing clear displeasure with the Seattle Parks & Rec umpires no matter how absurd their job performance. Instead, I will appreciate it. I will probably even laugh.

These guys provide a service to the league I umpire for by being so incredibly bad. My work league is, after all, considerably more expensive to play in than is a season of SP&R softball, so a vast disparity in officiating quality can only help. The rules we use are better, the time limit on games is longer, and the officiating is far and away better, giving, hopefully, a proportionate value for the higher fees. I don't know all of the umps that share in my work league; we always have some turnover and I'm not allowed to train the newbies any more, so it's possible we have a lemon or two in the mix. But I feel safe in postulating that the worst of us is an order of magnitude better than the best ump working an SP&R game. (I think we had the top of SP&R's heap last week and he was merely inoffensive.)

It occurs to me that I'm beginning to repeat myself a bit, having written some of this same stuff two games back, so I'll move on.

Oh, we lost by a score on the order of I-don't-really-know-but-let's-call-it-17-3. In SP&R the teams themselves are responsible for scorekeeping and reporting winners and losers and so on, and our dugout was a bit inattentive when our side was in the field and didn't keep track. Plus, with a couple of runs disallowed by the umpire because reasons, I'm not even sure how many we scored. I do know that I had another crap game at bat, with nothing but weak grounders and another 0-fer. Alas.

Meanwhile, my week as an umpire myself continues in a little while as I have two games tonight. I had four games last Sunday, two scheduled on Monday which were rained out, and three Tuesday. I'll cap the week with two tomorrow night as well. Tuesday at Cap Hill was rather uneventful as Cap Hill shifts go, but there was still a fair number of squares to mark off on the bingo card. It was my only shift there this week, so I'll have to wait until Monday to try again for a first bingo.

 

 

Tagged Softball, Umping, Posted on June 11, 2026 at 6:15PM   |   Permalink   |     |  

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Diamond doings, etc.

Making up for some fallow weeks earlier in the spring, I'm getting assigned a lot of umpiring of late. Mostly that's good, I can certainly use the extra money in this age of Felon47’s economic sabotage. But it does cut into my TV time, and I'm just getting around to finishing the latest season of For All Mankind (not its best season, to put it mildly, but FAM remains a great show) so I can start on the first season of its companion show Star City. I still haven't gotten around to The Testaments, either, and need to find time for Spider-Noir sometime despite it being an Amazon property. (Is it kind of ridiculous to be singling out Amazon as an evil corporation these days? I mean, SNW returns next month on Paramount and I'll still watch that despite the CBS/Paramount takeover by fascist enablers.)

But the umping has been fun this week. Since the ugliness at the end of last Sunday's shift, I've had three nights calling games and they were all positive. Tonight I only had one or two familiar faces among the four teams on my schedule, but Monday's and Thursday's slates included a lot of old faves. Last night, in fact, included a championship game that was won by a team that goes by the name "Jeans," as several of them wear jeans or jean-shorts as their "uniform"; when I handed Robin, their captain, the team's winnings (a voucher for substantial bar credit and a discount on their next signup), he asked why they weren't getting the typical nothing-prize of league-branded wristbands again. It was sarcasm, as those prizes are pretty lame, but I hadn't been given any to hand out. But, as I was packing up the equipment bin, I found a stash of prize wristbands left over from previous seasons, so I handed some of those out to Robin and his team. He then led his team an a "Tim! Tim! Tim!" chant as they put on the wristbands and jumped around. It was goofy and made me laugh.

Tonight's only issues were with spectators. There were two versions of a peanut gallery in the seats behind the plate: the 8:00 game had the small children of some players doing cheers and chants for everybody; it was cute for two innings or so, then it was very much NOT. The 9:30 version was the boyfriend of one player and a friend of his that were drunkenly heckling me on nearly every pitch. Hard to say which version was more annoying. (Wait, no, it's not, the kids were way more annoying.)

The nights I didn't work this week were spent playing with the Spuds (Wednesday) and taking K & E to the Mariner game on Tuesday. That M's game vs. the New York Metropolitans was a fun one; we had terrific seats and the Mariners won handily to extend their winning streak to eight games (where it stopped, as they've dropped two straight since then). I don't know if their expenditure matched what I spent on the tickets or not, but K & E bought our concessions, which were plentiful and included the biggest soft-serve ice cream cone I'd ever seen, let alone eaten. It's three days on and I think I still feel some of it in my gut. Sure was tasty, though.

Another thing about these full-up weeknights is that I've been consuming less news than usual, but I still get the headlines and a few stray articles. This, from John Scalzi's newsletter today, I thought was worth sharing because schadenfreude. Felon47’s grift-scam "Freedom 250" event in DC has lost most of its star power as every musical act it had advertised as participating has either bowed out or insisted they were never going to be there in the first place. Except for Vanilla Ice and Lee Greenwood. Per Scalzi: "Trump is now having a rally on June 26th, where his aimless meandering mouth pooping will be occasionally interrupted by Lee Greenwood singing 'God Bless the USA,' or some such. If you attend, you deserve what you're going to get, and that's all I have to say about that. Greenwood's own reputation as a musician will not be notably dinged for his appearance; being hauled out for a single moment of performative patriotism for politicians who actively hate the majority of Americans is what he's been known for this entire century. I hope it pays well."

OK, I need something to eat and perhaps I'll start on Star City before calling it a night.

Tagged Umping, Seattle Mariners, TV, Politics, President VonClownstick, Posted on June 6, 2026 at 12:42AM   |   Permalink   |     |  

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Bullpen Bulletins!

Taking just a few minutes here before I head out for more umpiring tonight to blurt out a few things...

• ITEM: SPUDS avoid being mercy-ruled for second consecutive week! My softball team, the Smiling Potatoes of death, lost to Lab Rats 12-5 last night. The loss was not a surprise. The score was—Lab Rats have historically wiped the proverbial floor with us, but yesterday we avoided going down by more than ten runs and thus being mercy-ruled into an early exit. Just like we did last week! Who-hoo! Manufactired triumph. I was 0-for-3 with two bee-stinger grounders and one solidly hit forceout grounder.
• ITEM: Felon 47 speaks to press in proof-of-life appearance. On the heels of yet another unexplained visit to Walter Reed Medical Center for a "checkup," Felon47 vanished from public view for a week. Again. He resumed his public lying and shitposting yesterday, so presumably he's recovered from this latest round of treatments for whatever it is he needs treatment for that the White House is hiding from the world. In the absence of any information from this, the allegedly most transparent administration in the history of the universe (wink-wink, nudge-nudge), I think it is perfectly reasonable to assume Felon47 is undergoing regular blood transfusions from sacrificial infants and the drained lifeforce of conned "volunteers" from fundraising emails. I mean, there's got to be some reason this monument to unhealth is still alive.
• ITEM: Is DNI a real job? Felon47 has nominated yet another corrupt, incompetent crony to a cabinet-level post, this time to replace Tulsi Gabbard as "Director of National Intelligence." There are myriad reasons Bill Pulte should never be confirmed to any job ever, let alone the DNI, but it does bring up the question: Why do we have a "Director of National Intelligence?" It is a redundant position, basically a human aggregator, to be the filter through which the actual intelligence agencies of the US government report things to the president. One of the many overreactions to 9/11 was to create this job, which didn't need to exist before, but because George W. Bush was too dumb to understand his Presidential Daily Briefs that included reports form the various intelligence agencies, it was thought that adding a cabinet officer to personally tell things to the president was better. Competent presidents don't need this. Incompetent ones ignore it. Criminally corrupt incompetent ones (well, one twice) appoint sycophantic toadies who make sure nothing too complex even reaches the Oval Office, basically ensuring the opposite result from the intent of creating the position. Among the many post-Felon47 reforms we need to take up, eliminating a lot of 9/11 overreactions might only make it to the tertiary group of needs, but axing DNI might be on the list.
• ITEM: I am bad at time management! I'd intended more items here, including one on Monday's umpiring and one on Tuesday's fun night out with K&E at the Mariner game, but it's already 5:30 and I'm running late. Got to go deal with more playoff umpiring tonight, hopefully no one will get too wound up and macho about their games.

Tagged Softball, Politics, Republicans, President VonClownstick, Posted on June 4, 2026 at 5:38PM   |   Permalink   |     |  

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Priorities

As we all know, the regime of Felon47 is chock full of liars. Nothing that comes out of the alleged president's mouth, or that comes from the White House press office, or said by any of the regime's spokespeople can be taken at face value. Everything must be assumed to be dishonest and subject to questioning.

But every once in a while, someone from the regime will commit an honesty without realizing it and tell the world what they really think.

Case in point: Kevin Hassett, Director of the National Economic Council of the United States, who went on the Fox propaganda channel to tell the saps that watch the Fox propaganda channel that stuff is costing more. "People are spending more on gas," Hassett said, "but they’re also spending more on everything else—not just groceries, but restaurants and so on." Acknowledging that inflation is rampant because of Felon47’s illegal tariffs and his pointless war with Iran and his truly massive corruption and grift? No, of course not. Inflation and the economic hardships facing the American public aren't something he cares about. We can infer this from his follow-up comment on all that spending: "I think that’s a sign [that] people are optimistic about the future."

Now, one could interpret that as Hassett conflating the sort of freer spending one might see in a growth economy with what's happening today, as Hassett misunderstanding the spending he finds so optimistic to be out of abundance rather than necessity. But that's not it, he's not misunderstanding anything; he's either lying to con viewers into thinking their hardship is a good thing or, more likely, he does see this as something to be optimistic about and the "people" he's talking about are oligarchs.

Supporting that theory is what he said later, when questioned about the rise in credit card debt. The interviewer told him this: "[This year], the percentage of credit card balances that were at least 90 days delinquent rose to 13.12%. That’s the highest level in fifteen years. People say they’re using those cards to get through necessities, because they can’t afford what’s going on." Hassett's response? "We talked [sic] to the CEOs of the credit card companies all the time, and we do see some increased stress like the numbers that the Journal quotes, but for the most part, there’s not any kind of financial threat to the credit card companies."

Consumers have to use credit to pay for things they used to buy outright? That's not a problem. The credit card companies are fine with it.

You and I and the American public at large don't matter a whit to these people. If we go broke, well, sucks to be us, but hey, the corporations and the business sector benefit from that! That's what matters!

I filled up my gas tank the other night. I paid $5.39 a gallon, which was comparatively cheap. I got groceries too, spent over $100 and didn't even get everything on my list. Resupplied the cabinets with cat necessities as well, food and litter, for over $150. Is that a sign that I'm optimistic about the future, Kevin?

Quite the opposite. But Kevin doesn't give a shit about my relative optimism. He couldn't care less about my budget or bank balance or debt ratio. He cares about his own, his boss's, and his patrons'. Just like the rest of Felon47’s criminal mob.

Tagged Politics, Republicans, President VonClownstick, Posted on June 1, 2026 at 4:59PM   |   Permalink   |     |  

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